However, when I look back, I was actually more upset about the consequences of those failures and having to accept them. I was never afraid of failing the exams itself, I had more fear for the potential consequences of not getting the high marks to get into the degree that I wanted.Īnd when there was something that I did fail at (and trust me, there were many of them and not just limited to school), there’s no doubt that I would get upset and blame myself. Looking back during Grade 12, it was the same circumstances. Then it hit me – it was not “failing” the exams itself that I was so stressed and overwhelmed about, it was the consequences that I would have to deal with and face as a result of failing that made me anxious. If I didn’t pass that subject, it meant that I’m going to have to retake that subject again, potentially delay when I get my degree, and if it wasn’t for COVID-19, I could’ve been at risk of being on academic probation. You see, most of my exams were going to be worth 50-60% of my overall grade, so what that meant is that depending on what my marks were, they were going to have a significant impact on whether I pass the subject.Īnd to be transparent, there was one subject where my exam marks were the life and death of passing it. Only this time around, I finally understood why I would always experience that level of stress during exams. So what do I mean by this? Let me explain.Įxam time for me had approached this week, and usually it is the time when my level of stress hits high heights, and there is some anxiety here and there. When you think about it, we’re actually more afraid of the consequences that we will have to face as a result of it.
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